I’ve been entertaining the idea that Lindsay Lohan slipped the cocaine into Paris Hilton’s purse. Think about it. She just got out of jail and is dying to get the heat off her. Who better than Paris to take a fall and take over the negative headlines? No one would miss her, and besides, she’s already been to jail. She’ll be welcomed back with open shivs and toilet beer! Lindsay, on the other hand, is trying to stir up some good press in the new issue of Vanity Fair. The interview was conducted before she went to the hoosegow, and hoo boy, is it ever funny. Here are a few snippets:
“If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox, in the emergency room, because I would have had to come down from all the things that people say I’m taking and my father says I’m taking – so that says something, because I was fine.”
“I’ve never abused prescription drugs. I never have – never in my life. I have no desire to. That’s not who I am. I’ve admitted to the things that I’ve done – to, you know, dabbling in certain things and trying things ’cause I was young and curious and thought it was like, okay, ’cause other people were doing it and other people put it in front of me. And I see what happened in my life because of it.”
“I want my career back. I know that I’m a damn good actress, and it’s been my passion since I was a child, and I know that when I care about something, I put 100 percent and more into it. … I want the respect that I had when I was doing great movies.
Lindsay Lohan is a damn good actress who has done great movies and never used drugs? Is this Vanity Fair or MAD magazine? Hm. There is a freckled redhead on the cover. God, now I’m completely confused.
